So everyone likes sex… well most people do. It is pleasurable, and of course it is an act of love between two people. However, it isn’t ALWAYS about love. There are loads of people out there who have as many sexual partners as possible. Why? Either simply because they can, because they love sex, and love having it with loads of people, or because of insecurity, or other reasons such as this.
Now, I have always enjoyed sex, and I always have preferred to do it with someone who you love instead of lots of people who you don’t love. However, there are people out there who prefer the latter. There are many reasons why, as I have just discussed, however, is it good? Which one is REALLY better, or a moral level. You may immediately say ‘Sex for love is better’, or you may say ‘It is that persons choice’, however there is no REAL answer. Yes people have there own choice in the world, but is it good for both parties?
If a girl goes and sleeps with loads of guys, and if the guys like it, and even if they agree for it to be a casual one time thing, there will ALWAYS be some connection between them afterwards, ALWAYS. For starters, they both need to find each other attractive (or bearable). It is stereotypical that women get more attached to men and can be hurt easier, but it isn’t always the case. I think that ONE of them will always think about the other person after the initial, supposed ‘one-time thing’. Of course, there will always be connections to these people, and it will always effect them afterwards. Whether that be through arguments with friends or what not. The way I see it, there are probably more negatives then positives in this idea. However this isn’t always the case of course. If two friends decide to have a one time thing, it may not affect them afterwards, but it will always be slightly awkward, and there will be always be some feelings afterwards. Just watch Friends with Benefits if you don’t believe me. It is a typical example of this kind of situation.
Now I have never had this kind of thing with someone. I have been tempted, yes, everyone has temptations, but I haven’t. I have been VERY close on two or three occasions, but it has never happened. I held on. I found a good, loving relationship. That is how I lost my virginity, and I am proud of that. I found someone nice. I found someone I cared about, and it made it so many times better.
Studies in the past have proven this. Having sex with someone you love makes it better, however, it is proven as well, that a few years into a relationship, the sex dies down. It loses the initial energy. However in also showed that if couples didn’t have sex as much, or if there sex wasn’t very good, they would break up, or divorce not too long afterwards. If they had regular sex at an average level, they would continue a healthy relationship.
This proves that sex is COMPULSORY for a healthy and stable relationship. However, if the sex goes downhill, and goes from being energetic, to ‘average’, then does this give the people in the relationship the right to want to pursue other partners? Is this what causes people to cheat? Is it actually perhaps not there fault? Society has made it so that it is seen as terrible if a partner cheats. This is because the human body actually WANTS to be WANTED. It is a weird idea, but if the brain knows that it is liked, and another human being loves it and wants it, it lets of chemicals inside the brain that make you feel ‘warm’, and you feel nice. However if your partner then wants to pursue someone else it makes you feel hurt, and this is a terrible thing to do to someone.
However is it excusable? Now that is a hard question. Humans do have a curiosity to want more then one sexual partner over the course of there life. Again, this is scientific FACT. However, if a human knows that they will hurt there partners by engaging in sexual intercourse with someone else, and they still continue to do it, that is wrong. Especially if they do it behind there back. If the sex in your relationships does get dry, and gets stale, then it is understandable that people would think about maybe pursuing other people, THINKING about it isn’t bad, but going out and doing it IS bad. You will hurt the other person. That is the way the human mind has been configured. You get hurt if you are not wanted. Cheating makes people not feel wanted.
The only way around this is to maybe talk to your partner about having a one time thing with someone else, but, again, returning to my earlier topic, will this make you feel something towards that person? Will it make your partner jealous? Then what if you both did it, so you don’t feel as bad. Then ONE of you WILL get jealous, almost certainly. This entire subject is complicated, and it has no answer as to what you should or should not do in a relationship if your sex life runs dry, and whether engaging in casual sex outside or inside of marriage is a good idea no matter what the circumstances. It is a tough call.
Thank you for reading this long talk, I hope you enjoyed it. I went on a bit of a tangent towards the end about sex in marriages, but I felt like it was necessary. Follow for more of me discussing different things, and feel free to message me personally on twitter or even my personal Facebook if you want to talk about anything with me! I always reply!
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