Anyone else heard that great song? It’s originally by Damien Rice, and it is such a powerful and emotional folk song. I love it so much. Anyway, this really is a personal post for me. The alliteration there makes it sound more humorous then personal though. I have a feeling that this post isn’t going to get so many views because it is personal, but I always seem to be surprised.
So throughout my life, I have been constantly haunted by depression. I don’t have as many problems in my life as loads of people, but I still do have a few. Since I was young I have always battled everything on my own. I was bullied as a child, right through to when I left secondary school at 15. That was always a big deal. Being bullied doesn’t just affect your personally though. Back then I had a couple of people I used to ‘hang around’ with. They weren’t friends really, but the thing is, being bullied pushes them away. They see you are vulnerable, in there minds they realize you aren’t strong, so they distance themselves from you. It may not even be intentional, but I know one thing. I don’t talk to them anymore.
From when I was born I have never really had friends. I have kept my distance from people. Usually intentionally, sometimes (like now) unintentionally. I have always kept myself to myself, and I prefer my own company to other peoples. I can trust myself. I don’t have to worry about other people judging me when I am on my own.
Over the last year I have been put under a great deal of stress. I am not going to go into everything that has happened but it is a lot. I feel like I have only experienced a tenth of the stress I will have to go through in my life though, and I am usually eerily on target when it comes to my predictions. The last year has been absolutely insane, and somehow, I have got through everything all by myself. I have been with my girlfriend for most of it, but I have coped with the stress all myself. I am proud of getting through it. Most people talk to someone else, and get through it with other peoples help. Me? No.
To those of you who follow my posts, I said before that Emos are like Chavs. I was probably a bit harsh in that post, but I hold a grudge against Emos. A few emos have gone through a lot in there lives, I know that, I have met some. Those people, I have sympathy for, but most, have serious issues because of what they have been through. Even they, have had people standing by them through everything, or even just portions of it. Me? I have had no friends throughout my entire life. In my final year at school I clung onto one person in an attempt at getting a friend but he turned his back on me, and I am glad about that. I don’t need two-faced people in my life. I have had no friends, ever. I call myself the lonely solider. Why? I am lonely. Very lonely. I am also a soldier, battling through everything, and to this day I keep going.
Anyway, this is the most personal I am ever going to get, and I haven’t even revealed much of what has gone on. Just so you know, almost nothing has happened in my life in comparison to other peoples. I am just different to most because I have no one, and yet I am still sane, which worries me. Maybe I am saving all the anxiety for one huge outburst, and then I will be sent to an asylum.
Thanks all for reading, follow for future posts that will be nothing at all like this because I am never really going to get personal again. Oh, and like this if you enjoyed it!
The Life Poster.